just come out here and I will go home with you...
it hurts more in the daytime
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
