Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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