she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
