Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
