Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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