week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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