Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
