yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
