His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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