I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
