He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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