they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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