im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
