He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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