how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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