I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
