I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
