Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
