Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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