he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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