You can't motorboat a personality
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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