K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
