OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
