OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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