I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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