Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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