You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
