the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
