Duck Duck Cougar?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
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