I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
