Only a mothe r could love this liver
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
