shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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