He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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