PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize