and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
i now understand why vodka
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
