I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
