what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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