You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
