Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
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