He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
