Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I am spending my child support on dildos
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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