I wish my penis had an off switch
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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