she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I have aggressive nipples.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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