they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
