I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
