Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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