hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
