So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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