totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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