i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
