I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
