Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I checked into jail on foursquare
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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