i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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