She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
