You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
