Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
The struggles of a small town man whore
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
