found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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